You may not have read this far back in my blog, but there was a time when I had committed myself to an exercise in consistency. I called it ‘For the Sake of Routine’, and the so-called routine lasted all of one post before I forgot what I was supposed to be doing. I’ve decided to bring that routine back, since this particular blog post is about all of the promises I’ve made to myself that I have yet to come through on.
There have been many attempts for me to develop some sort of consistency:
- I once tried growing out my hair for about a year and a half because I never had a fro or cornrows before and wanted to try it out (this didn’t turn out well for several reasons);
- I started probably 15 different workout regimens—probably all in one month;
- I got into a relationship that I clearly wasn’t ready for, then popped out like bacon grease after about 7-8 months;
- I downloaded a bunch of e-books in attempts to get some ‘deep spiritual knowledge’…and never read them;
- I invested in a MIDI keyboard because I was gonna ‘get my producer on’;
- I’ve procured high-end graphics software so as to improve my portfolio after college…um, yeah;
- I started a comic strip SERIES…
I mean, the list could probably go on for a little while longer, but the point is, none of these things have panned out. I’m really not trying hard enough though, I guess. I’ve tried to visualize myself managing to fit everything I want to get my hands on in a week’s time, every week, but I can’t seriously see myself doing that and maintaining my sanity. I don’t wanna be stressed out; I value my sanity. I honestly don’t know how some of y’all mugs do it. I mean, I do…but then I also see the resulting toll it takes on a lot of people, and I already know that I’m not the best stress handler.
Early this morning, as I tried going to sleep before the crack of dawn this time, I had so many thoughts running through my head, so many people I wished I could talk to just to get in touch—just to spark up a much-needed conversation—so many ideas…I mean my mind was literally crowded.
This wouldn’t be so much of a problem if I had throw-away thoughts, but every one of my thoughts is significant to me. Every single thought that I have can be translated into a good look—a well-executed idea. I guarantee at least 85% of them are. Unfortunately, my best thoughts come when I’m somehow incapacitated. I’m either a) in the shower, b) dropping a ‘couplet’, c) in the car, d) on my way to sleep, or e) awake in the dead of night when everybody else is sleeping. Any other time, I’m preoccupied with whatever’s in front of me (rarely a book; usually a screen).
And it’s not as if the things I would want to be consistent with are not worth it. I mean, seriously, look at that list above. Add on “splurging on a home recording studio kit,” and I’m a regular Renaissance Man. Speaking of Renaissance, I remember doing a paper on DaVinci back in school a few years ago and coming to the realization that the way society was set up back then was WAAAAAAAAY better for developing one’s potential than the bullcrap public school systems we have here in the States today. I’m not trying to cast blame, but if I could go be an apprentice to a great philosopher, engineer, artist, doctor, or anything of the like, I’d be doing GREAT right now. And not even financially, but just in the fact that I would’ve had a steady tutelage and a consistent lifestyle.
A lot of people I talk to about this try to make light of the whole thing by mentioning that I’m more well-rounded than the average person, but the problem with that is that ’roundness’ doesn’t equal very much when you’re a ’round’ pea rather than a round boulder or round planet. Yes, I’ve become so multi-faceted that I’ve smoothed my surfaces, but what good does it do when you need a microscope to enjoy the polish?
So, while I continue to lament over the drudgery that is my life, I’ll leave you with this: Earth Tones is still on hold while I try to figure out how to fit things into my schedule (AND ACTUALLY DO THEM), but I want to prioritize the blogging in the meanwhile. You might get diatribes like this one from me, or you might get Facebook-status-like blurbs that aren’t even really worthy of more than a glance.
YOU, need to check out that poll if you haven’t already. It’s on the right side of this page. Submit your opinions; you’ll be getting a chance to contribute to the site much more in the future if you do this for me now.
Until the very soon future, I’m out. Peace, y’all.
